“There, but for the grace of God, go I” Minimization
This statement looks like such a “humble” thing to say. However, it serves to minimize abuse and centers compassion on the abuser, not his victims.
People who say these things do not “get it.” They fail to understand how the abuse of infidelity abuse works. In the rush to not seem “judgmental,” they embrace the abusers side while leaving their victims in silence.
One of the hardest things about infidelity is how it makes so little sense to normal, functioning adults. We cannot imagine living the double life our cheaters lived for months or even years!
You might as well as say this saying about Ted Bundy, the serial killer:
“There, but for the grace of God, go I!”
But, of course, we don’t do that even though it is just as true.
Cheating takes many (poor) decisions. The cover-up takes planning and more decisions to deceive one’s spouse. One would think this would be hell for anyone who had even a shred of a conscience.
Yet cheaters do this for years, in some cases!
We cannot imagine doing that as we would feel crucified by the guilt. This is a good thing. We do not want a society full of people who are capable of deceptive, double lives and silencing their consciences so adeptly.
