Be Intentional — Carol McLeod Ministries

For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, And the complacency of fools will destroy them. Proverbs 1:32

I remember my cancer journey quite well. As I rested on the couch day after day trying to recuperate from surgeries, I remember considering the question, “What’s most important in my life?” As I wrestled with that question, I came to three conclusions: My relationship with God was most important, and I would not grow complacent in that relationship. I would invest by spending time in prayer, worship, and Bible meditation. No longer would I allow doing for God to trump being with God. I wanted the deepest relationship I could possibly have with Him, and that meant I had to be intentional.

Secondly, I determined my family was next in importance. I commit ted to spending more time listening to and encouraging each one. And finally, I determined my friendships were important. No longer would I run at such a fast pace that I wouldn’t have time for a deep conversation with friends. I needed to create space in my life to invest in friendships. Looking back, cancer was very clarifying.

I began to make changes immediately, beginning with prioritizing unhurried time with friends. Prior to cancer, my beliefs about ministry life got in the way of friendships. When I was training to go into ministry, I was often told not to get too close to people in our church. Honestly, that was messed up! If you don’t get close to people where you are ministering, you lead a very lonely life. After I was cancer free, I began being much more intentional in enjoying my friends. My husband stepped into a new church, and rather than following old advice on maintaining distance in ministry, I dove into deeper friendships with those in the church. They are still my friends today.

I also learned to slow down. On a practical level I started listening more intently when I was on the phone with friends. Rather than feeling like I needed to hurry to get other stuff done. I simply reminded myself that I had plenty of time to listen.

One time, I met up with a dear friend in New York City. From JFK International Airport, we took a train into the city to see a Broadway show. I had never spent money to simply be with a friend before. That time ended up being so great for my soul! I became intentional about choosing vulnerability and being more authentic in my friendships.

Rather than just waiting for friends to pop into my life, I went after them. I took the initiative to invite others out for coffee and to go to lunch. Looking back, these were some of the most positive choices I ever made. I realized how vital life-giving friendships are.

The same holds true for you. Your friendships are vital. If you grow busy and ignore your friends for too long, your connection will drift and eventually die. Scripture reminds us that “the complacency of fools will destroy them” (Proverbs 1:32). That seems a bit strong, don’t you think? I mean, life gets busy, and we get hurried. At times, we’re emotionally exhausted from the sheer amount of chaos our lives involve. You might be wondering, “What’s wrong with a little complacency?”

What exactly is complacency? Complacency is an attitude of apathy. It shows up in passivity and ultimately dishonors those we claim to love. When we are complacent, we are listless and apathetic because we simply don’t care. We no longer want to put effort into our friendship with God or others. Ultimately, complacency is self-indulgent and kills our friendships.

The prophet Zephaniah gave us insight into how God feels about complacency. Speaking the Lord’s words, he wrote, “At that time I will search Jerusalem with lamps and punish those who are complacent” (Zephaniah 1:12).

In Matthew 25:14‒30, Jesus tells the story of servants who have been given bags of gold: One servant was given five, one was given two, and one was given one bag of gold. The master who handed out the money went on a trip, trusting his servants to invest his money wisely. When he returned, the servant who had been given five bags had invested and gained five more. The one who had been given two invested and he also doubled what he had been entrusted with. However, the one to whom one had been given simply buried the bag so he wouldn’t have to worry. When the master came back, he affirmed the two who had been intentional with their bags of gold, but he was furious with the one who had buried his. In fact, he called him wicked! This story teaches us to be intentional with the gifts we have been given and industrious until the return of Jesus, our trustworthy Master. We might also look to this story as an analogy for complacency with what has been entrusted to us. Beyond talents or financial resources, one of the gifts God entrusts us with is our friendships. I believe He wants us to invest in these relation ships and treasure them.

How Does Complacency Show Up in Our Friendships?

It can show up as being too busy to nurture your friendships. It can show up as a lack of empathy when your friend is struggling. It can show up as building walls around our heart so that we never have to risk getting hurt again. Or it can even show up as taking friends for granted.

God wants us to treasure our friendships with the wisdom of intentionality. Let’s ask Him to show us where we’ve grown complacent in our friendships.

Lord God, I praise You that You invite me to be intentional in my friend ships with others. Thank You that You are always intentional to pursue me and You call me Your friend. Help me to treasure my friendships and never take them for granted. I pray that You would uproot complacency in my life in all my relationships. Help me to steward the friendships You give me well. Be glorified through me, I pray.