Why Am I Okay With Being the Other Woman? 10 Reasons You Are - Olubunmi Mabel

You’d think that no woman wants to be the other woman in a relationship.

After all, being the “other” one means that you are not the main priority of your partner.

It also means that you are essentially sharing your partner with someone else.

Not only that, society hates the other woman.

They are often labeled as “home wreckers” and “mistresses,” seen as immoral and untrustworthy.

What kind of woman would willingly put themselves in that position?

Surprisingly, there are women who are okay with being the other woman, and if you are one of them and you are wondering why you are okay with it, here are ten possible reasons:

Why Am I Okay With Being the Other Woman? 10 Reasons You Are

1. You love living on the edge

I don’t know the world you live in, but being the other woman in many societies is risking being the most hated woman because the ”homewrecker” gets no mercy.

If you are the type who loves living on the edge, then perhaps being the other woman is a thrilling adventure for you.

It might be exciting for you to have a secret love affair and feel like you are breaking societal norms.

If you think about it, your desire for adrenaline can be seen in other aspects of your life as well, not just in your relationships.

You might enjoy taking risks and living on the edge, which can make being the other woman a perfect fit for your personality.

Considering the many consequences and challenges that come with being the other woman, only someone who enjoys a bit of danger and excitement would willingly choose this role, and that might be you, dear sis.

2. You are in love with your affair partner

One of the most common reasons why women are okay with being the other woman is because they are deeply in love with their partner.

They may have tried to fight their feelings or end the relationship, but ultimately, their love for their affair partner overrides any moral or societal norms.

They are willing to endure the pain and judgment because they simply cannot imagine life without this person.

Being in love can make you overlook the fact that you are not the main priority in your partner’s life.

You may even convince yourself that your love is enough and that someday, they will choose you over their current partner.

Only that that rarely happens, so you end up feeling used and hurt.

3. You don’t want a serious commitment

Being in a committed relationship takes hard work and effort.

You need to put effort into communication, compromise, and sacrifice to make it work.

In short, a relationship is work!

And it takes a great deal of work to make it work.

Some women are not ready for such a commitment and find being the other woman a more appealing option.

They get to enjoy all the benefits of a relationship without having to fully commit or put in the necessary effort, you know?

Being the other woman is a convenient arrangement since you have your own life and don’t want someone else’s baggage.

4. You don’t want to be tied down

Similar to not wanting a serious commitment, some women simply do not want to be tied down by a relationship.

They value their independence and freedom, and being the other woman allows them to maintain it.

You are free to come and go as you please, without having to answer to anyone or compromise your plans.

You can focus on your own goals and priorities without being held back by the expectations of a traditional relationship.

You are not accountable for anyone else’s feelings or actions, and you have the power to end things whenever you want.

It might be easier to end a relationship you know you shouldn’t be in when you are the other woman.

All you have to do is remind yourself of the consequences of being a homewrecker.

5. You have a history of being the other woman

It’s easier to be comfortable with being the other woman if you’ve been in that role before.

It may have started with a high school crush who was already dating someone else or maybe an ex-boyfriend who was still seeing his girlfriend when he started seeing you.

Maybe you were introduced to relationships through an affair or cheating, so that is all you know.

Whatever the reason, if you’ve had past experiences of being the other woman and have not faced any major consequences, it’s only natural for you to be okay with it.

You may have normalized the situation and convinced yourself that there’s nothing wrong with it.

So, it’s a learned behavior from past experiences that makes it easier for you to continue being the other woman in future relationships.

6. You have low self-esteem

Sometimes, women who are okay with being the other woman have low self-esteem and do not believe they deserve better.

They may have been emotionally or physically abused in past relationships or have insecurities that make them believe they cannot find someone, which has impacted their self-worth.

Being in a toxic relationship where they are not the main priority is better than being alone.

They may even feel like they are lucky to have anyone at all, even if it means sharing them with someone else.

It’s so sad.

7. You don’t know you are the other woman

Some women don’t know they are the other woman until it’s too late.

Yeah, some men are that good at lying and hiding the fact that they are in a committed relationship.

You may have fallen for their lies and believed that you were the only one, only to find out later that you were just another side chick.

This realization can be heartbreaking and make you question why you allowed yourself to be put in this situation.

But by then, it’s too late, and you are already emotionally invested in this person.

While some women end things immediately after discovering they are the other woman, others continue with the relationship.

8. You’re okay with sharing

”Sharing is caring,” I usually tell my kids when they are fighting over toys.

But sharing a person you love with someone else is not the same.

However, some women don’t mind sharing their partner with another woman and are okay with being in a polyamorous relationship.

They may genuinely believe that love should not be limited to just one person and accept that their partner has other romantic relationships. 

It may be a cultural or personal belief that has shaped their views on relationships, but they are content with the arrangement.

Being okay with sharing means you can handle the jealousy and insecurity that comes with being the other woman.

9. You believe in the law of attraction

The law of attraction is the belief that you can manifest your dreams and desires into reality.

Some women may believe that if they want someone bad enough, the universe will make it happen, regardless of their current relationship status.

They may think that by being in the other woman role, they are getting closer to manifesting their dream relationship with this person.

This belief is dangerous because it disregards the consequences of being in an affair and the impact it has on others.

The law of attraction is good, but it does not justify immoral actions or breaking up families.

10. You feel empowered

Some women may feel empowered by being the other woman, especially if their partner is in a high position or has a lot of power.

They may enjoy the thrill and excitement that comes with being in a forbidden relationship.

It makes them feel special and desired because someone else’s partner chose them over their current partner.

Also, the fact that they can end things whenever they want or manipulate their partner into leaving their current partner for them is a form of control and power they may find empowering.

In a society where women are often objectified and controlled, being in charge of a relationship and having someone’s attention is empowering for some women.

Being the other woman in a relationship is a complex and often controversial topic.

It’s a complicated situation that not many would want to find themselves in, so there must be a reason(s) why you are okay with it. 

It’s up to you to reflect on your feelings and motivations to decide if being the other woman is the right choice for you and make sure to remind yourself of the consequences of messing with a married man.