Do You Struggle to Pray? A Simple Shift That Helped Me — Vaneetha Risner

Do you pray?

If someone asked you that question, how would you answer? Not, ‘do you believe in prayer’ or do ‘you think prayer is important,’ but—do you actually pray?

I’ve had to wrestle with that question myself.

On the wall in one of our rooms, we have this verse stenciled:

“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” – Psalm 5:3

I love that verse. I want to live it every day. But if I’m honest, as those of you who have followed this blog know, prayer has always been harder for me than reading the Bible.

I’m grateful that’s changing. And today, I want to share what’s helped me grow in prayer.

A Simple Shift That Changed My Prayer Life

One of the biggest changes for me came from a simple sand timer. A few years ago, my stepdaughter Ashley gave me a set of sand timers, but they mostly sat unused as decoration. One day, as I was praying, I thought about using one—and it transformed my prayer life.

Before, I would spend most of my quiet time reading Scripture and journaling, sometimes praying as I reflected, but not always. Then I’d glance at the clock, realize I had spent more time than planned reading, and rush through a few quick prayers.

I’d always pray as I thought through my day—thinking about who I would see and what I would do—but sometimes, that took barely a minute. I also used prayer cards, that I made after reading Paul Miller’s wonderful book, A Praying Life. Yet often, I flipped through them quickly or skipped them altogether.

But something about the sand timer changed things. There was no distracting alarm. No need to watch the clock. Just a set time, set apart for prayer. I flip the timer over and talk to the Lord as I watch the crystals fall through the glass. I sit in silence, reflect on the previous day with Him, pray about the day ahead, and go through my prayer cards. I don’t feel rushed any more.

For my daily reflection, I use this framework that I based on the Prayer of Examen.

A Daily Reflection with God

1. Invite God into this moment.
   Pause and ask God to help you be aware of His presence and release distractions as you reflect. Take a deep breath and ask Him to help you see your day through His eyes.

2. Praise God & give thanks.
   Consider who God is and remind yourself of His love. Reflect on the gifts of yesterday—moments of joy, provision, or unexpected kindness. Name them and thank Him for them.

3. Review the day with God.
   Walk through the events of yesterday. Think about your actions, attitudes, and words. When did you feel close to God? When did you feel distant from Him? What stirred your emotions—like excitement, joy, peace, anger, sadness, or frustration?

4. Acknowledge your shortcomings.
   Where did you sin or fall short—through your actions, attitudes, or missed opportunities? Be honest as you confess it all to God. Ask for forgiveness, strength, and grace moving forward.

5. Look ahead with hope.
   Consider what today holds. What challenges or opportunities do you anticipate? Ask God to open your eyes to His work around you and to guide and strengthen you in all you do.

If a printable version would be helpful, I’ve created a simple PDF that includes these reflection questions along with the ones I use when reading Scripture. I’ve formatted it so you can cut it out and paste it on two sides of a note card—one side with the Daily Reflection, the other with Scripture reflection questions. [Click here to download it.]

Lingering in Prayer and Scripture

Lately, I’ve also been reading Matthew more slowly than ever before. I usually read through the Bible in a year, and I’ve loved that practice, but I don’t notice all the details in what I’m reading.

This year, I’m using a Bible with four translations—NKJV, ESV, NLT, and The Message—reading each passage in multiple versions. Because I’m only reading a few verses at a time, I can slow down and take a deeper dive.

I love how The Message puts Matthew 6:6:

"Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace."

I need the focus to shift from me and my kingdom to God and His kingdom, and I see that happening slowly as I sit with the Lord. In that same section in Matthew 6, Jesus repeatedly says, "When you pray..."—not if you pray. He assumes we will be praying. In private. Directly to our Father, who already knows our needs before we ask (Matthew 6:8).

We’re not informing God of something He doesn’t know—we’re aligning our hearts with His. That reminds me of this quote by Oswald Chambers (one I had to read a few times to grasp!):

"Prayer is getting into perfect communion with God; I tell Him what I know He knows in order that I may get to know it as He does."

A Book That Convicted Me

I started these prayer habits sometime last year, which made it all the more meaningful when, this past Christmas, one friend gave me a prayer journal and another gave me the convicting short book, Do You Pray? by J.C. Ryle, that you can read in less than an hour.

Here are a few quotes that convicted and encouraged me:

"I want to ask you an exceptionally important question. It is the title of this short book and it is contained in just three words: Do you pray? Only you can answer that question… only you know whether you pray in private. That is a matter between just you and God."

"The problem is that prayer is one of those things we think will happen automatically—so, of course, it is shamefully neglected… Private prayer is a personal business between God and our souls—something no one else sees. It is not a surprise, then, that there is a huge temptation to bypass prayer completely."

"Do not be afraid because your prayers are not very fluent. Jesus can understand you… He understands a sigh and knows the meaning of a groan. Do not despair because you do not get an answer immediately. If you are speaking, Jesus is listening. If He delays an answer, it is for good reason…"

So, Do You Pray?

It’s a question that can feel uncomfortable. But it’s one worth asking.

If you struggle with prayer like I have, maybe it’s time to make a simple shift—whether it’s setting aside a specific time, using a sand timer, or following a guided reflection to help you linger with God.

Because prayer isn’t just about asking for things. It’s about being with Him.

***Download printable prayer reflection questions and Scripture reading questions.