Sacred Spaces and Listening Adults-What Teens Need - Bravester

In this crazy world of increased anxiety everywhere, teens are looking for sacred spaces. According to this research from Springtide Research, seeking sacred spaces helps teens:

• feel connected to the divine and others in new and different ways
• find a space to reflect on and process new experiences
• better understand themselves and the world around them
• experience the emotions that contribute to overall well-being

This sounds so opposite to the mind-numbing scrolling that is occupying hours of teens’ lives—by their own choice as they roll their eyes and grumble at you, parent, every time you ask them to put their phone away. This sounds like a search for enchantment that the phone is not giving them. This sounds like a cry for peace.

And now this new jarring experience to increase the anxiety:

How do we help our teens? This is not just you, parent. This is for all of us. Because all of us see the despair in their eyes seeking help (whenever they look up from their phones that is sucking the enchantment out of them).

From some more Springtide Research, notice these findings:

• 65% of young people surveyed say they are not currently part of an organized religious or spiritual community.

• The 35% who DO belong report overwhelming positive experiences such as: 81% feel accepted in their religious or spiritual community and 79% feel like they belong in their religious or spiritual community. (Wow!)

What a difference a sacred space can make!

Who would have thought it could be a religious or spiritual community?

Just because you have trust issues with an institution, doesn’t mean your teen does. Your teen needs that very institution.  

From research from Future of Faith:  Institutional trust is at an all-time low, but personal trust remains strong. Our research confirms that while confidence in religious institutions has steadily declined for decades, trust in personal relationships remains resilient. Over 70% of adults, and 76% of teenagers, report high trust in people they know personally. Faith leaders can no longer rely on authority alone; they must prioritize relational trust.

In the same study by Future of Faith, 75 percent indicated that being listened to helps them process spiritual challenges like doubt, disillusionment, and grief; and 71 percent reported that it deepens their own faith. Perhaps most importantly, the study concluded that experiencing a listening ear without judgment is two times likelier to produce spiritual growth than hearing sermons. 

Young people are seeking adults who will let them talk and answer those questions. With the people you have given to your teen, give your teen the freedom to talk and ask their questions. To give words to their doubts. To feel safe enough to express their uncertainty and then find out that an uncertain faith is a brave faith. To provide “along the way” experiences of what faith looks like. To share stories of times when it felt like God had abandoned yet time has proven how close God always was. How faith is grown memory to memory. Random conversations with lots of listening, some sharing, that all provide clarity.

Where do you find people like this? In church. In the intentional adults you give your teens.

What a gift to give them sacred space and adults who want to listen.

I just gave you a lot of research. Research that has some big numbers with big truth. Of course, I’m hoping that research will lead you to really help your teen by giving your beloved sacred space and listening adults. Now I want to make a personal plea.

I’ve worked with teens as a youth pastor since 1981. Back in the 1980s suicide was sadly common and openly talked about in churches and schools. What I’m seeing today is different yet not different. The solution is the same though. Research is saying the same things after 40+ years too. I’m reading articles from youth pastors much younger than me that are writing the same things I wrote in the 1980s.

So parents, please find your teen sacred spaces and adults who will listen. This is the hope you are looking for.

Read more:  https://bravester.com/seeking-adults-who-will-answer-questions/