Is My View of Womanhood Biblical or Cultural?

If you had asked me twenty years ago whether I was a feminist, I probably would have laughed.

“Feminist? Me? Of course not!”

After all, I didn’t participate in marches, carry signs, or identify with many of the causes commonly associated with modern feminism. I loved the Lord, attended church, and genuinely wanted to honor God with my life.

But over the years, the Lord exposed something uncomfortable. Although I didn’t call myself a feminist, many of my ideas about what it means to be a woman had been shaped more by culture than by the Word of God.

And ideas have consequences.

Every action begins with a belief. Many of the things we do, defend, or value first began as ideas we accepted without question. Sometimes they come from our families. Other times they come from school, books, movies, social media, or simply the cultural air we breathe. These assumptions become so familiar that we rarely stop to ask, Does this actually align with God’s Word?

For years, I never asked that question.

I believed submission was degrading. I thought depending on others was a sign of weakness. I was convinced that a woman who devoted herself to caring for her home was wasting her potential. And although I never would have said it plainly, I believed my worth was measured by my accomplishments, my abilities, and my independence.

At the time, those ideas didn’t seem wrong. On the contrary, they seemed reasonable—even admirable.

Until the Lord began confronting me through His Word.

What Defines a Woman’s Worth?

One defining characteristic of our culture is its insistence that our identity is rooted in what we do.

From a young age, we’re told to distinguish ourselves, pursue our dreams, maximize our potential, and build a life that feels fulfilling. Personal fulfillment is presented as life’s highest purpose. And while work, gifts, and accomplishments can be good gifts from God, they become cruel masters when we look to them to tell us who we are.

For years, that’s exactly how I lived. My confidence came from being capable, solving problems on my own, and proving I didn’t need anyone else’s help. I was competent.

But the Bible presents an entirely different vision. Our identity does not begin with what we do. It begins with the One to whom we belong.

Before we are wives, mothers, professionals, leaders, or servants, we are women created in the image of God and redeemed through Christ. Our worth isn’t earned by what we accomplish; it was established by our Creator long before we achieved anything.

When a woman finds her identity in Christ, she is no longer enslaved to the need to constantly prove her worth.

How Do I Respond to God’s Design?

When I was twenty-seven, God used the book of Titus and the influence of a godly older woman to expose areas of my heart that needed to change. As I studied Titus 2, I realized my struggle was not simply a difference of opinion about certain issues. The problem ran much deeper.

My heart resisted God’s design.

The word submission made me uncomfortable. The idea of depending on others seemed unnecessary. I wanted to stay in control. I wanted to make my own decisions. I wanted to have the final word.

Gradually, the Lord helped me see something that changed everything.

The issue was not my ability. The issue was my willingness to surrender.

We often confuse competence with authority. We assume that because we’re capable of doing something, no one has the right to tell us how it should be done. But the gospel reminds us that humanity’s deepest problem has always been the same: we want to rule ourselves.

Ever since the garden of Eden, the temptation has been to believe that we’ll be freer by living on our own terms. But true freedom is never found apart from God. It is always found near Him—in joyful surrender.

What Does It Really Mean to Be Free?

Perhaps one of the greatest lies of our time is that freedom means doing whatever we want.

We’re told that a free woman needs no one, makes her own rules, pursues her dreams without limitations, and never allows another person to have too much influence over her decisions.

For too long, I believed some of those messages. But the freedom Christ offers is entirely different. Jesus didn’t die so we could be ruled by our own desires. He died to set us free from the slavery to sin. That means Christian freedom isn’t found in escaping God’s design but in embracing it with joy.

It’s not about becoming our own authority but willingly submitting to the King who loves us and always knows what is best. It’s not about finding ourselves; it’s about finding Him. And as we know Him, we discover who He created us to be.

A Question Worth Asking

When I look back, I feel sorrow over some of the ideas I embraced and some of the ways they affected others. But I also feel gratitude.

I’m grateful because God, in His grace, didn’t leave me where I was. He used His Word. He used godly women. He used difficult conversations. He used repentance. And He continues His transforming work in my heart today.

I don’t write as someone who has arrived. There are still areas where I need to take my thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. There are still attitudes the Lord is faithfully changing.

But I can say this with confidence: I’ve never found freedom by moving away from God’s design. I’ve always found it by drawing nearer to Him.

So perhaps the most important question isn’t whether you consider yourself a feminist or not.

The better question is this: Who is shaping your understanding of biblical womanhood?

• Your culture?
• Your experiences?
• Your feelings?

Or God’s Word?

All of us have been influenced by the culture around us. The key is whether we’ll allow Scripture to have the final word.