How To Make A Guy Spoil You—Without Making Him Feel Guilty About It! - Olubunmi Mabel

The feeling of being spoilt silly by the one you love is nothing but bliss.

In my experience, ladies long for this the most, and some guys aren’t exactly quick to take the cue.

Humpf! (an expression of frustration)

So then, how can you make your guy spoil you without nagging or guilt-tripping him about it?

This has got to be the hack of hacks!

If you are wondering if this is reverse psychology, you might not be wrong.

However, how else would you know unless you read?

Come, let’s unpack this.

1. Be a high-value lady

I know this wasn’t what you expected, but stay with me.

High-value people are people who know their worth and are guided by strong personal values which they live by.

Being a high-value lady doesn’t necessarily mean being expensive or extravagant- far from it.

In Nigeria, there are traders who sell on the streets, and you can get cheaper bargains from them.

However, when you get to a mall, you’ll have to pay twice or thrice as much for the same item.

Usually, many buyers haggle and negotiate the price with street vendors, but when they get to the mall, the price tags say it all, and they buy what it says or leave.

Guess what?

The major difference between the two scenarios is the environment, which has conditioned the sense of the products’ value.

What are your core values?

How are they conditioning you?

If you position yourself as a high-value lady, you won’t need to beg or guilt trip a man to treat you right.

2. Be a value adder

I once had a staff who went over and beyond in her duties.

She always delivered value with excellence, which delighted me so much that I looked for ways to give her extra value, too.

On her birthdays, I went the extra mile to make her happy.

It was no longer about the agreed pay due to her; she had added so much value to my business that I sought ways to spoil her.

Even though this isn’t in the context of a romantic relationship, it also applies there.

What value do you bring to the table in your relationship, or are you the taker?

If you are always demanding value without being a valuable person, it will be hard to get a guy to spoil you without your input.

Can your man see how much of a positive difference your presence in his life is making?

The truth is that people can negotiate the price of something, but value is hard to negotiate.

Be a value adder, and you’ll get value in return.

3. Be thoughtful and caring

Do you know that spoiling a person takes a high level of thoughtfulness and care?

I love to give gifts and think of ways to make people I love happy.

I can tell you for free that it takes much consideration and strategizing to pull these things off many times.

Are you the kind of person who is thoughtful and caring towards others?

Your guy is watching as you go out on a limb for others and care enough to make them happy.

Because he loves you, he’ll feel the urge to spoil you silly, too.

You don’t even need to ask or guilt trip him about it.

4. Spoil him silly

My friend always outdoes herself in creative ways to spoil her husband, even when it wasn’t his birthday; guess what?

He started matching her energy and seeking ways to spoil her in return.

They have such a beautiful, loving relationship and keep serving and outdoing each other in love.

The adage “You reap what you sow” is true in her case, and in just being a lavish giver to her husband, she became his spoilt princess. 

If you want him to spoil you?

Then, sow the seeds you want to reap.

5. Treat him like royalty

I once read a quote: “People may not remember you, but they’ll remember how you made them feel.”

This means that people retain memories of how they are treated.

Treating your guy like royalty doesn’t mean allowing him to subjugate or sidestep you.

It means calling out the king in him.

If you are able to call out the king in him, then he’ll treat you like royalty and spoil you.

Many times, we teach people how to treat us by how we treat them.

Treating your guy right starts with how you speak to him or about him and how you relate with him.

Nagging, hurling insults at him, or gaslighting him are not royal treatments in any way.

Let your words always be seasoned with grace, and you will eat the fruit of your lips.

6. Support and stand by him

Frank was the main man!

When anyone in the community needed help, Frank always showed up.

Everyone agreed that Frank was a true blessing, and soon enough, community members started giving him back in cash and kindness.

In fact, on his wedding day, people came from far and wide to grace the occasion and gave lavishly to support him.

One day, the news went out that Frank was in need, and with alacrity, the whole community came together and supported him.

They stood by him till his need was fully sorted.

Men like Frank are one in a million and friends you need in your corner.

The community’s response to Frank’s need is what happens when you are a solid support system to others.

Everyone needs a shoulder to lean on from time to time, even your guy.

Beyond seeking your desires, you can stand by him and support him in those seasons.

Guys hardly open up except they trust you, and you can be that trusted friend to him.

You won’t need to guilt trip him into spoiling you because he will value your role in his life.

7. Be receptive to love

Independence is good, but be careful not to be closed up to love.

Some ladies pride themselves in the fact that no man can show them loving gestures.

Some of such women are tagged “Strong women.”

Sadly, some of these strong women desire the soft life treatment, and that’s confusing.

If you constantly give off the air that you can’t be pleased with, your guy might just not bother trying.

Be open to receiving love.

Don’t be critical of his efforts at trying to treat you sweetly.

Granted, he might need you to guide him, but you can do so lovingly.

The Yoruba tribe of Nigeria has a proverb that is translated into English to mean, “It is a child who lifts up his arms beckoning to be carried that will easily be carried.”

It just goes to say that if you want love expressions, you have to be open to receiving them. 

8. Be the sweetest person

Be sweet, and it will open the door to more sweetness for you!

If you have ever met very happy people who give off positive vibes, you’ll know what I am saying.

It is easy to identify when something is not right with them, and because they are usually sweet and positive, you’ll seek ways to keep them happy.

Some of such ways may include your guy spoiling and pampering you!

9. Don’t throw yourself at him or give in to sex cheaply

Many ladies think the best way to get a man to spoil them is by bringing sex to the table; how wrong they are!

Refusing to cheapen yourself or give him the ‘cookie’ (sex) communicates to your guy that you are different.

I mean. Men sleep with prostitutes in exchange for money, and if you have to give him your body before he spoils you, isn’t that equally transactional?

We live in a world where almost everything is sexualized. However, ladies who refuse to give into the pressure of this will be regarded and treated with more care and respect.

When your guy knows you will not beg for love or throw yourself at him, he will treasure you and try to keep you happy.

Diamonds are not found on the sidewalks: Be the diamond.

10. Be grateful for small things

Gratitude produces a multiplier effect.

I once heard a wise man say, “Whatever you are grateful for increases.”

Practice gratitude and appreciate your guy’s little efforts at making you happy.

Don’t complain or nag at him because you want him to do things he doesn’t have the capacity for ye.

Be content.

As you exhibit these attributes, bigger things will come to you.