He Never Left: A Powerful Testimony of Redemption from Addiction and the Unfailing Love of God
I pulled an old jacket tight around me and slammed the door of my rundown apartment. It was four in the morning—quiet enough that it was safer and easier to make a quick stop at the crack dealer on the corner. That was my life. I lived in darkness, brokenness, and addiction.
I had lost everything.
My children were gone. My family estranged. My job—vanished. My home no longer felt like home. I was shackled by addiction, and the devil had stolen every part of my identity. I lived for the next high. That was it. Just enough money to stay numb a little longer. And in those hazy hours of despair, when I was high on whatever I could find, I’d cry out to God through groans I could hardly understand myself.
Where was God? Why had He abandoned me?
Deep down, I thought I knew. I was worthless. A failure. A sinner and a drug addict. Why would a holy God stay near someone like me? I convinced myself He had walked away.
I wandered from city to city, from state to state, looking for hope, searching for meaning—searching for Him. But all I found was deeper pain, and a darkness that felt like it would swallow me whole. Then, when I had nothing left—no apartment, no family, no dignity—I let out one final cry. A scream so raw and desperate, it felt like it took my last breath.
And in that lowest moment, God touched my withered soul.
“I never left you,” He whispered. “I’ve been right here by your side.”
When God Feels Distant: You Are Not Alone
With Pamela’s permission, I share her powerful story of redemption and restoration. Her question — “Where is God when life falls apart?”—is one many of us have asked. Whether it’s addiction, depression, trauma, or the crushing weight of failure, we sometimes assume that God has turned His back on us. But more often than not, it’s we who drift.
It might not be crack cocaine, but maybe it's a crack in your heart—a betrayal, a tragedy, a harsh word from someone claiming to speak for God. Maybe you were pushed away by religious hypocrisy, judgment, or guilt that was never yours to carry.
Emotionally wounded and spiritually confused, we pull away from God, and soon He feels like nothing more than an abstract idea. But He is not far off.
He is near. He is active. He is calling.
“The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The LORD is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.” (Psalm 145:8-9)
A Story of Grace After Addiction
Pamela’s life is living proof that no one is ever too far gone for God’s grace. When she finally surrendered, He didn’t reject her. He welcomed her. He restored her family, healed her heart, and filled her life with purpose.
Today, she boldly shares her Christian testimony of deliverance from addiction, shining a light for others walking a similar path. She lives not in shame, but in peace and purpose, testifying to the love that rescued her.
And when she speaks, this Scripture flows from her lips like a banner of truth:
“But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus…” (Ephesians 2:4-6)
The Message: God Has Not Left You
Whatever has broken your heart, whatever sin has tangled your soul, whatever shame you carry—it doesn’t have the power to separate you from God's love. He’s not repelled by your mess. He’s not distant from your pain.
He is still here. Still calling. Still loving. Still waiting.
So come back. Cry out again. Let Him wrap you in grace.
Because the truth remains: You are not alone. You have never been.
Let’s Pray
Father, thank you for the reassurance that even when life seems dark, that others have abandoned me and life seems overwhelming, You’re still there, loving, faithful and merciful.
What if the silence you interpret as abandonment is actually the space where God is preparing your soul to hear Him more clearly?
Bonus article on today’s topic.
Janet
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