Eight Years Free: Still Healing, Still Me - The DV Walking Wounded:

Today felt off. It didn’t help that I am still reeling from my new Wegovy shot, as well as running a fever of 101 and having congestion and a sore throat. No, it was more than that. But, what could it be? It took a nap to wake me up to it: I survived a nightmare no person should ever have to, eight years ago. It hit me suddenly and I sat straight up in my cold medicine stupor. I. REALLY. SURVIVED!

On September 14, 2017, my life changed drastically. That was the day I walked away from my final incident of abuse. Honestly? It still feels both like yesterday and a lifetime ago. Eight years later, I’m still picking up the pieces—emotionally and financially—but I’m also living proof that freedom is worth every ounce of struggle. Every. Bit.

The Aftermath Nobody Talks About

People love the “happy ending” part—leaving, surviving, starting fresh. But here’s the thing: the story doesn’t end there. Abuse leaves fingerprints everywhere. It’s messy. They leave A LOT of that struggle and messiness out of LifeTime movies, probably because it makes the general public uncomfortable.

The emotional side? Anxiety, guilt that isn’t yours, moments where a random memory knocks the wind out of you. Being in customer service, if I have an extremely agitated customer who has decided to take out their anger on me — I might need 10 minutes to reign in my anxiety and recoop my composure.

The financial side? Let’s just say it takes time to rebuild credit, pay off debts, or get back on your feet when someone else drained you. Sometimes you’re undoing what unwise things that you had to do to cope with the current situation of the time. No judgement.

If you’re dealing with this, you’re not alone. It doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’ve been through hell and are now learning how to rebuild. Be gentle with yourself. This survival stuff doesn’t come with instructions. We have to do what’s best for us and learn from others, as well as sometimes accept help from others — THAT is the true strength, as well as not giving up. It’s just not an option.

Tiny Victories Matter

Healing isn’t a straight line. Some days I feel strong, and other days I just… don’t. But here’s what I’ve learned: the little wins are everything.

• Paying off a bill that once felt impossible.
• Surviving legal mishaps along the way.
• Not having to ask permission to do the most basic of things.
• Laughing without worrying about “what mood” someone else is in.
• Drinking a cup of coffee in peace because the only person I have to answer to is me.

Those tiny victories? They’re bricks in the foundation of the new life you’re building.

Gratitude Beats the Darkness

Even on the messy days, I try to stay grateful. I’m grateful to wake up safe. I’m grateful to live without fear in my own abode. I’m grateful to finally rediscover me—the quirks, the passions, the dreams that got buried under years of control. I just did a Muddy Princess! There was NO WAY that my Abuser would’ve allowed me to do anything like that…even with me being a tad overweight and now just crossing the Type II Diabetes line. He would’ve body shamed me and I would’ve caved. No more caving. Just out here pushing myself to greatness…I had to prove those new hips worked!

Freedom isn’t perfect. It doesn’t erase scars. But it is priceless and has immeasurable worth. Don’t give up! I’m rooting for you! You can do it!

To Other Survivors…

If you’re reading this and still fighting your way through—whether you’re in the middle of leaving, just starting over, or years into recovery—I want you to know: you’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re healing. And healing is messy, slow, and powerful.

Your scars don’t make you less. They prove you survived. And surviving is the first step toward thriving.

So today, I’m celebrating eight years free. Not eight years of perfection. Not eight years without struggles. Just eight years of being me, unapologetically. And that’s more than enough. I am more than enough. I’ve learned that anyone who thinks I’m too much, can go find less. Cheers to eight years!!!

Love and light! <3