12 Signs Of An Emotionally Damaged Woman - Olubunmi Mabel
“The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal.” – Astrid Alauda
Not all wounds are visible.
For some women, their deepest cuts are the ones that leave no physical trace.
They seem perfectly fine on the outside and sometimes even have a beautiful smile to share with everyone they meet.
But behind that smile is a story of pain and resilience, an experience or series of experiences that have left them damaged and broken.
How do you tell when a woman has been emotionally scarred?
Sometimes, the signs are there in plain sight, waiting for someone to see them.
1. Her guards are always up
A woman who has been confronted with harsh and unpleasant realities in life that have left her soul in silent turmoil is likely to build walls around her life.
She might be very cautious about letting anyone get close to her.
She creates a wall around her heart, keeping people at arm’s length because she’s afraid of being hurt again.
Such a woman might constantly be on the lookout for signs that she’s going to be hurt, making her overly cautious in relationships.
It’s like she’s always looking over her shoulder, afraid that the pain she’s been running from will catch up with her.
Little things that should mean nothing begin to look like major red flags to her and she’s quick to push anyone out of her life at the slightest mistake.
She’s not being mean; she’s just being guarded due to her past experiences.
2. She always thinks negatively
One sad thing about negative experiences is the power they have over our minds.
When people have terrible experiences, it can recalibrate their minds and make them permanently pessimistic.
A classical sign of an emotionally scarred woman is being quick to assume the worst.
She’s prone to negative thinking, always expecting things to go wrong.
For example, if someone doesn’t text back immediately, she might assume they’ve lost interest or they’re cheating on her even if they’re just busy.
It’s like she’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
She thinks, “It’s happened before, so it can happen again.”
3. She makes general statements
I used to have a friend who always said, “All men cheat. It’s not an abnormal thing.”
We’d argue for hours with me trying to make her see that people’s mindset and decisions determine their actions and being a cheat is not restricted to one gender.
Anyone who lacks morals can cheat, whether male or female.
But she’d never listen or agree.
Eventually, I got to realize the reasons for her stereotype, and it was that virtually all the men she saw growing up cheated on their women.
Her dad, uncles, brothers, and sadly, her boyfriends and now husband.
These experiences framed her mindset about men and life generally, hence her prejudice.
When a woman uses her experiences to make general statements and conclusions, this is often a sign of emotional damage.
“Men are scum,” “All men are dogs,” “Men can not be faithful,” and so on are all narratives formed by emotionally damaged women who have been dealt harsh cards by life in the area of relationships.
4. She has trust issues and avoids deep connections
When a woman is emotionally damaged, she may not stop creating acquittances or making friends, but she’s unlikely to make it go deeper than that.
When most women have “besties” or form deep bonds with other women or even men for romantic relationships, a damaged woman would rather be a drawback.
She keeps relationships at a surface level, avoiding deep emotional bonds.
It’s like she’s standing on the shore, watching the ocean, but too afraid to dive in because she fears what lies beneath.
She struggles to trust people, so she keeps them at arm’s length.
Perhaps because she was betrayed before, so she’s skeptical of people’s intentions.
Getting her to easily trust people may be like trying to rebuild a shattered mirror.
She’s afraid of cutting herself on the broken pieces in the process.
5. She fears rejection
Nobody likes rejection, but for an emotionally battered woman, rejection may hit her harder than it does most people.
So, she’s likely to avoid situations where she might be turned away.
This may make her avoid initiating connections and conversations.
She just doesn’t want to be in any situation that makes her need someone’s approval or validation.
Even when it might cost her a lot to hold back, she’d rather hold back and lose because she’s too afraid to knock, believing the door won’t open.
6. She’s an overthinker
Overthinking may not automatically mean a person is emotionally damaged, but an emotionally damaged woman is usually an overthinker.
This is because she’s living with emotional scars borne from past negative experiences that make her overanalyze situations.
You may find her looking for hidden meanings or signs of trouble in everything.
You only need to tell her “A,” and her mind will think up the remaining letters of the alphabet.
She turns every conversation into a complex puzzle, trying to figure out if something’s wrong, even when everything is fine.
7. She doesn’t have emotions or express them
With physical wounds, sometimes people get injured in parts of their bodies so badly that they’re almost unable to use that body part anymore.
It’s the same with emotional scars.
An emotionally damaged woman might suppress her emotions or even find it hard to feel anything deeply.
Not necessarily because her emotions no longer exist but because she has created an armor around it.
Unknown to her, she might protect herself from pain, but she’s also blocking out joy.
8. She sabotages her relationships
Emotional damage has a way of making a woman mess up her relationships.
Not because she doesn’t want healthy and thriving relationships but because the wounds she carries won’t just let her.
When she starts to feel close to someone, she might push them away before they can hurt her.
She doesn’t wait to see how bad or good things get; she just burns the bridge.
Sometimes, even when the relationship is going well, she feels the most unrest and tears it down.
9. She’s always apologizing
Saying “I’m sorry” a million times is not a sign of humility or being nice.
It’s usually a sign of trauma.
She’s always apologizing because she feels like everything is her fault.
She’s constantly saying sorry even when it’s unnecessary because she’s carrying a burden of guilt, always ready to take the blame to avoid conflict.
This could also be a self-worth issue.
She may be questioning her value and finding it hard to believe that someone genuinely cares about her, so she doesn’t want to mess it up.
10. She’s easily triggered
Being thin-skinned and overly responsive is usually a clear sign of trauma.
She’s easily provoked and quick to react to little things.
It’s because certain situations or words might remind her of past pain.
This is why she reacts strongly.
She carries baggage full of old wounds, and sometimes, the weight becomes too much to bear, so she unleashes her emotions.
11. She doesn’t communicate openly
An emotionally damaged woman may struggle to voice her needs or desires.
She doesn’t communicate openly because she’s reluctant to express herself and be perceived in a certain way.
Perhaps she fears she’ll be seen as demanding or unworthy.
Or that her partner won’t understand her.
12. She finds emotional intimacy draining
While other ladies might be excited at the potential of a new relationship or falling in love, an emotionally damaged woman is different.
She doesn’t find any form of comfort in emotional closeness, rather she finds it exhausting.
When someone tries to show her love or care, she might struggle to accept it, feeling undeserving or suspecting the person’s motives.
She doesn’t want to be that vulnerable because she’s experienced a hard hit in the past.
These signs often hide beneath a brave exterior, hidden even by those who care the most.
But if you know where to look, the truth becomes heartbreakingly clear – she’s internally fractured.
