What Does the Bible Say About Marriage and Divorce?

Divorce and the Bible

The Mosaic Law and Early Interpretations

To understand the biblical view of marriage, we must first look at the law given through Moses. In Deuteronomy 24:1, Moses wrote about the “certificate of divorce.” He warned that if a man divorced his wife, she remarried, and her second husband also divorced her, it would be inappropriate for the first husband to remarry her, calling it an offense against God.

Later, in the New Testament, the Pharisees approached Jesus to ask if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife for “any reason.” At that time, two schools of thought dominated Jewish life:

• The Shammai School: They held a strict interpretation, believing divorce was only acceptable in cases of sexual immorality (adultery).
• The Hillel School: They held a much broader view, suggesting divorce could be allowed for minor displeasures, even something as trivial as a woman burning a meal.

Jesus Points to the Original Design

Jesus brought a higher meaning to the discussion by pointing back to God’s original intent. He explained that Moses allowed divorce only because of the “hardness of heart” in mankind.

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” — Matthew 19:4-6

Jesus immediately contrasted Marriage with God’s design: Marriage was meant to be a holy, unbreakable covenant where two become one flesh. This union is a physical representation of a profound mystery—the relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church.

The Gospel Message in Marriage

I often reference Romans 1:20, which tells us that God’s invisible qualities are understood through what He has created. Marriage is one of those creations. It is held in high regard because it communicates the Gospel: Christ has redeemed us, His bride, and He will never offer us a certificate of divorce for trivial reasons.

While adultery is cited as a ground for divorce, the Bible often compares adultery to idolatry (1 Corinthians 6:16-19). Throughout the book of Jeremiah, we see God pursuing His “bride” (Israel) despite her unfaithfulness through idolatry. Even when a certificate of divorce was provided (Jeremiah 3:8), God remained consistent in His call for her to repent and return. This is an extraordinary example of love that we should aim for in our own marriage covenants. However, due to the hardness of man-kind’s heart not all will be able to hit that aim.

Hardness of Heart and the Standard of Marriage

When the Pharisees asked why Moses commanded a certificate of divorce, Jesus replied:

“Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” — Matthew 19:7-9

The disciples were so moved by the weight of this standard that they concluded it might be “better not to marry” (Matthew 19:10). Jesus acknowledged that not everyone could meet this high standard, mentioning unique cases—including “eunuchs”—who refrain from marriage for various reasons.

However, Christ shared that those to whom it is given to meet the standard; let them meet that standard (Matthew 19:11-12.)

The standard remains the same, but because of the weakness of the flesh, bitterness, and hardness of heart, divorce occurs. If you find yourself in a situation where a marriage has ended inadvertently, we must seek God’s forgiveness and move forward with a clean slate, keeping the seriousness of the marriage covenant in mind for the future.

Addressing Abuse and Abandonment

When it comes to abuse, there are additional biblical considerations. I believe abuse is a clear manifestation of the “hardness of man’s heart.” It turns us cold and destroys the ability to give and receive love.

The Bible provides guidance on how to deal with those who are abusive or divisive:

• 1 Corinthians 5:11 warns us not to “keep company” with those who are “railers” (abusive people who lack self-control).
• Titus 3:10-11 tells us to have nothing to do with divisive people in the church after a second warning, noting that they are “self-condemned.”
• Divisive people show abusive behavior by separating the one they are abusing from their support system.

Furthermore, there is the “gray area” of the person who did not want a divorce, but their spouse filed anyway. In some cases, a person becomes a “eunuch” (refraining from marriage) due to the choices of others. This is not a sin. The Apostle Paul expands on this in 1 Corinthians 7:15: “But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”

Final Thoughts

While some may frivolously abuse the institution of marriage, God holds the covenant sacred. For any gray areas not explicitly detailed in scripture, we must remember that “all things are lawful, but not all things are expedient.”

Seek God, pay attention to the conscience He has given you, and remain mindful that our own desires and lack of understanding can sometimes skew our perspective. This is a deep topic, and while I don’t have all the answers, I hope this brings clarity to the biblical standard and the heart of God for your relationships.

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