The Woman at the Well: 4 Lessons on Surrender and Grace
Have you read the story of the woman at the well in the Bible?
Jennifer Sakata gracefully shares her personal story, weaving in what she learned from the woman at the well that can help us surrender and receive God’s grace.
The Moment God Asked Me to Let Go
The start of her surrender came at a well. The start of mine sparked at a campfire.
I was 18 and a youth-group leader-in-training at our church’s summer camp.
As the night’s fire crackled, I dismissed Bob’s question as not pertaining to me. (Have you ever done that? Like when you listened to a sermon and thought: This message is definitely for them!) That was me.
Our Youth Pastor’s words ignited something as the Holy Spirit repeated them to me: “What is it that you are holding onto that’s keeping you from receiving God’s love? Put a log on the fire and let it burn.”
My thoughts immediately shifted to my mother.
Spiritual pointer-finger poised and ready, the conversation inside my head began: I’ve thought about her plenty, God. I don’t need to think about her anymore.
To which He kindly responded: The bitterness you’re holding onto is choking out my love for you. You cannot have both. You must surrender one for the other.
Everything in me boiled: But you don’t understand. Don’t you remember what it was like for me? And besides, if I tell her I forgive her, she’ll say, ‘For what?’
Like many, I grew up in a deeply addicted and broken home, left to raise myself and piece together what was left.
I became a follower of Jesus at 10 and was baptized at 15.
Surrounded by youth group kids whose hearts were being set free, I was stuck, battling it out with God for control.
The Woman at the Well: A Story of Surrender and Grace
Hundreds of years earlier, a woman stood in a similar place, struggling to surrender what she thought kept her safe in exchange for what her heart longed for most: belonging.
She was a Samaritan, a woman who drew water at noon, the hottest part of the day.
All the other women would have come in the cool of the morning.
Five husbands and a lot of mean-girl gossip later, she was a woman who’d put hundreds of miles on her torn soul.
She wasn’t the kind of woman you brought home to meet the family for Thanksgiving Dinner.
Yet, Jesus stopped. For her. Because God’s grace does that.
For years, I didn’t think we had much in common. Sure, we were both women longing for belonging, but I’ve only been married once and have two sons I adore.
Though I’m not the most popular person in the room, I don’t harden at the thought of people gossiping about me at every turn.
But as I quieted myself one morning, my thoughts returned to the story of the woman at the well—and to that campfire years ago.
The Struggle with Surrender
Like the woman at the well, I wrestle with control.
We both struggle with surrender. We want to know what’s coming.
To call the shots and decide how and when things happen—or don’t.
We’re fiercely independent, able to take care of ourselves and everyone else.
But finding grace when you want to be in control requires letting go and letting God.
Settling into that stillness with the Holy Spirit, I discovered four secrets for surrendering control—nestled there in the woman at the well and her conversation with Jesus.
I’ve placed them into an acronym, W. E. L. L., to help you remember that surrendering to grace changes everything.
The Woman at the Well: 4 Lessons on Surrender and Grace
- Welcome: Making Room for Grace
Surrender can feel like weakness.
For the successful businesswoman, the capable wife, the multitasking mom—it’s counterintuitive.
We push through, do more, prove more. The woman at the well was no different. She was a pull-up-your-bootstraps kind of gal who knew how to move along.
But here’s the secret her story reveals: God’s grace lives in surrendering control.
Under every ‘I’m fine’ and ‘I got this,’ God moves toward us.
“If only you knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”
John 4:10
But to receive it, you must welcome grace and surrender to God the soul substitutes that leave you thirsty, bound, and longing for what no person or thing can supply.
Surrendering to God’s grace does that.
As the Holy Spirit persisted that night at the campfire, the log burned, and my heart began to thaw.
Friend, what are you holding onto that distances you from receiving God’s love?
- Extend: Sharing the Grace You’ve Received
Have you noticed that the woman at the well ran back to the very people who had canceled her?
The ones who knew her story—or thought they did? Despite every reason to keep her conversation to herself, she returned to them. Not in shame or disgrace, but with freedom.
Because the Living Water she’d just tasted reset her heart’s longing. What they thought of Him mattered more than what they thought of her.
This unnamed woman extended the same grace she’d received. And because of her surrender, an entire village experienced Jesus for themselves.
Surrendering to God’s grace does that.
After that campfire, I made a call: “Mom, can we meet?”
Friend, where is God calling you to surrender what other people think about you for what they think about Him?
- Live Out Loud: Telling Your Grace Story
The woman at the well could have crept back quietly, keeping her encounter secret. But instead,
“The woman left her water jar and ran back to the village, telling everyone, ‘Come and see a man who told me everything I ever did! Could he possibly be the Messiah?”
John 4:28-29
I love how The Chosen portrays this scene—filled with anticipation and joy, not fear.
It reminded me of something Louie Giglio once said: “As an overflow of my life – the wake I leave behind my little dash on earth – I want others to fall in love with Jesus and know His great hope and purpose for their lives.”
Surrendering to God’s grace does that.
Two weeks after that campfire, I surrendered control. I sat at an ice cream shop and let the words fall out: “Mom, I forgive you.“
Friend, where are you keeping secret what God has already redeemed?
- Linger: Resting in God’s Presence
True confession: lingering is hard for those of us who like to control outcomes.
We keep moving—producing, arranging, achieving.
But the woman at the well teaches us that surrendering to Living Water and grace is a lifelong, slow drink.
It changes how we connect with God and others.
“When they came out to see him, they begged him to stay in their village. So he stayed for two days, long enough for many more to hear his message and believe.”
John 4:40-42.
Lingering allows us to surrender our agenda, schedule, the ever-demanding to-do list, and our expectations for someone else’s response.
Lingering means slowing down long enough for God’s grace to rewrite your story.
Surrendering to God’s grace does that.
I’m not gonna lie. When my mom said, “Forgive me? For what?” every See, God, I told you this would happen rose in me.
But as I lingered with God over the months and years that followed, He reminded me He was patiently rewriting her story, too—just as he’d been rewriting mine.
Friend, where has woundedness left you hurrying past the long, slow drink of Living Water and His grace?
The Ripple Effect of Surrender and Grace
Six years after that awkward conversation over ice cream, my mother visited for my 24th birthday.
As friends shared how they’d seen God at work in my life, my quiet mom spoke up.
“My daughter loved me when I was unlovable. She forgave me when I was unforgivable.”
I sat stunned as the Holy Spirit brought me back to that campfire moment.
All those years, I could have demanded she apologize or acknowledge the hurt. But God’s grace takes a different path.
Grace Does That: The Invitation to Surrender
Surrender isn’t the dirty word we think it is. It’s an invitation to transformation, from living thirsty to being filled by Living Water and God’s grace.
To remember the path of surrender from the woman at the well, come to the W.E.L.L.
Welcome God’s grace and surrender to God’s love.
Extend grace and share God’s grace with others.
Live Out Loud and share how God’s grace is rewriting your story.
Linger in God’s Presence and rest in God’s grace.
Surrender and Grace on YouTube
Listen in as Jennifer shares her story about surrender and grace on YouTube.
To view our conversation on YouTube, click here:https://youtu.be/WvTiGBykmrA
If you’re ready to live the grace life, where surrender brings freedom, start by reflecting on which part of the W.E.L.L. speaks most to you.
You can explore more stories of God’s grace and transformation here:
Listen to my podcast, Living the Grace Life, on YouTube
Subscribe to my weekly newsletter, Grace Notes
Book me for your next Women’s Event at JenniferSakata.com. Also, find devotionals, resources, and encouragement on your own journey of grace.
Because when you surrender control, grace always meets you there.
Grace for you. Grace for them.
Author
Jennifer Sakata
Jennifer is the host of the Living the Grace Life podcast. She invites listeners to rest in grace rather than strive for it. A speaker, writer, and joy-seeker, connect with Jennifer at JenniferSakata.com.
