MENTAL HEALTH MONDAYS: Modern Dating Advice *Updates* - The DV Walking Wounded

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If you’ve been out of the dating world for a while and now you’re stepping back in, you might be surprised at what you find. Many things have changed! The same tips you grew up with may not always apply today. Technology, cultural norms, and other transformations have created a whole different universe. 

Consider these strategies for successfully navigating the dating world in today’s society:

• Returning phone calls immediately. One of the older dating rules that no longer applies is making a new romantic partner wait to hear back from you. The rule used to be to deliberately wait 48 hours or longer to get back to the person who called you. 
  • This is an old-fashioned rule that has changed in the modern world. 
  • You don’t have to wait for 48 hours or 72 hours before you let the other person know you’re interested or not interested. This type of advice doesn’t apply because the modern world makes it easier to track a person and see why they aren’t responding.
  • If you’re ignoring a phone call, but have time to post on Facebook, then it’s easy to destroy a potential relationship. The other person can see your posts on social media and can be hurt. They may feel you’re playing games and trying to manipulate the communication.
• Dating during the week. In the “old days,” dating usually occurred on the weekends. By forcing the couple to date on the weekends, the parents could then control the situation easier and chaperone them. 
  • Nowadays, you can feel free to pick a schedule that fits both of your needs and date on the weekdays. You don’t have to stick to old-fashioned ideas about weekends. 
• Social media. Today’s dating world is shaped by social media and online dating websites. This has created new opportunities and challenges for the dating community. It’s important not to ignore the role of social media while you date.
  • Social media can reveal information about your partner and their friends. You may see photos and posts about their family. This can be both positive AND negative.
  • Social media can also help you keep in touch when you’re away from each other.
  • Social media can help you connect with new people too. However, this creates both opportunities and temptations. Always be aware of scam artists and other fraud online. These thieves even show up in your social media accounts. 
• Dressing up for dates. Today’s society is more casual at work, at home, and on dates. You don’t have to wear a suit or fancy dress to every date. Although you can dress up for certain events such as nice dinners or operas, you’re not obligated to wear your nicest clothes at all times. 
  • Showing your causal side is normal and can help you connect with the other person.
• Expecting gifts. Previous generations expected that the man would bring small gifts such as flowers, perfume, or chocolates on the first date. Today’s modern world doesn’t put these old-fashioned expectations on couples. This is one change that reduces the stress on a beginning relationship.
  • You’re not obligated to buy gifts for a person that you just started dating. Gift giving can be reserved for holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions. 

The dating world is constantly changing. If you’re trying to find your soul mate, keeping up-to-date on new trends can benefit you.