Car salesman in suit holding clipboard beside silver sedan with dealership cars in background
Image generated via AI.

There once was a salesman named Larry McGee,
Who couldn’t sell cars, not even for free.
He’d smile, and he’d wave with a confident grin,
But customers saw him and wouldn’t walk in.

He’d shout, “Check this beauty! A deal you can’t beat!”
But the car wouldn’t start… and then caught some heat.
He’d tap on the hood like, “It’s fine, just a quirk!”
But smoke puffed out, saying, “Nah, Larry, it’s cooked.”

He tried selling hatchbacks, he tried selling trucks,
He tried selling scooters, but had zero luck.
He once pitched a minivan, “perfect for fun!”
But the door fell off slowly… then all of them spun.

He’d rhyme, he’d do dances, he’d juggle three keys,
He’d promise “No payments until 2043!”
He’d offer free coffee, free hats, even hugs,
But folks still walked off, “We’re good, thanks, and you can keep the mugs.”

One day, his boss sighed, “Larry, buddy, my friend…
You haven’t sold anything. Not even a dent.”
But Larry just winked and said, “Sales aren’t my thing…
I’m only here for the vibes and the free vending machine.”

So, if you need a car, don’t ask Larry to sell
But if you need a laugh, he does that really well.
He’s the legend, the myth, the man who can’t sell anything on wheels…
The only car salesman who has never closed a deal.