First, do not believe a proven liar, and Cheaters are proven liars.

They are only saying this to control the narrative and protect their image. They assume here the faithful spouse will lie for their Cheater in order to make them look good to their mutual friends.

I say lie because telling these friends a different reason than the infidelity being behind the divorce (or separation) is a lie.

It is like a cancer patient trying to pass off her issues as a simple cold to inquiring friends. She might have a cold, but that isn’t the real reason for her health issues. It is the cancer.

Adultery is the cancer.

Cheaters make these statements to guilt faithful spouses from exposing the ugly truth about the Cheaters’ behavior. They want faithful spouse to talk about the “cold” and NOT the “cancer.”

But be not confused: People knowing does not change the FACT of the Cheater’s lack of character and resulting sinful behavior.

The problem is the lack of character and the resulting sinful behavior, NOT other people knowing this!

We do not control what people think about us. However, we DO control how we behave. It is in our power to live with integrity or live in violation of integrity.

Cheaters lived (or lives) without integrity.

They “earned” a ruin reputation. Cheaters are NOT entitled to having faithful spouses lie for them!

If you are committed to the light, you do not worry about others knowing the truth about you. Anything less is living in the darkness and is outside a commitment with walking with the Lord (see John 3:20-21).

*A version of this post ran previously.