From Soulmates to Sola Scriptura: Escaping the Myth of ‘The One Right Choice’
By Elizabeth Prata
SYNOPSIS
This essay explores biblical decision-making, explaining that Christians need not seek mystical signs or personal revelations to know God’s will. Instead, believers should obey Scripture, apply godly wisdom, and trust God’s providence, understanding that no decision can derail His sovereign plan or purposes.
Does the Bible speak to whom we should marry? Which college to attend? Whether to join the Army? Should we relocate to another state? Change careers now, later, or never? Go back to college?
While we cannot know God’s infallible will about anything except that which is revealed in Scripture, we are not to think that we have been left on our own with no assistance from God.”
from God’s Will and Personal Decision Making, by David Boxerman, TableTalk Magazine
Paul just decided things. He wrote often that he decided this or decided that. You would think, if we had to wait for a sign or a word from the Holy Spirit, which Paul absolutely directly received many other times, that he would wait to hear, watch for a sign, or listen to omens. But no, more often than we think, Paul just decided things.
2 Corinthians 2:1 But I decided this for my own sake, that I would not come to you in sorrow again.
1 Corinthians 16:6 Perhaps I will stay with you awhile, or even spend the winter, so that you can help …
2 Corinthians 1:23, But I call God as witness to my soul, that it was to spare you that I did not come again to Corinth.
Acts 20:16, For Paul had decided to sail past Ephesus so that he would not have to lose time in Asia; for he was hurrying, if it might be possible for him to be in Jerusalem the day of Pentecost.
It’s OK to decide!
In the 1970s and 1980s an extremely popular author was Richard Bach. He wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull which was on the NY Times bestseller list for years. He was New Agey, mystical, advanced soul, self-enlightenment kind of guy. Lots of man-made philosophies in his books. He followed up Seagull with The Bridge Across Forever: A True Love Story. In it he sparked a frenzy for finding one’s “soulmate.” He proposed that there was one true predestined soulmate for each of us and it is our job to find her (or him). If we do not, then we miss out on the one fulfilling relationship we could have had.
The book centered on Bach eventually finding his alleged soulmate, Leslie Parrish, whom he married. They later divorced. In fact, Bach has been married 4 times.
But it was books like his with their massive cultural impact that sent people into an anxious state of mind, thinking that everything hinges on ourselves to figure out the right decision for everything or our self-actualization will never occur.
Sadly, the Christian culture of the 90s and 2000s absorbed some of that leaven, and introduced a similar mysticism to decision-making (and to Christian life in general) that unfortunately included waiting for personalized whispers, looking for signs, or other extra-biblical methods that will guide Christians along in decision-making, a process that that forgets God’s sovereignty.
Just as much as Seagull and Bridge from Bach made a cultural impression in the previous generation, Henry Blackaby and Claude King’s book “Experiencing God” advanced these philosophies into Christian culture. Pastor Gary Gilley explained in his site Think on These Things, (TOTT), Gilley said;
For example, as in Experiencing God, the Blackabys say much about prayer being two-way communication with God (pp. 113, 117, 122, 131) — we speak, then wait for God to speak.
At the Website Stand to Reason, we read,
“Your task is to wait until the Master gives you instructions” (141). This is the critical fourth step in the “Seven Realities of Experiencing God.” Blackaby sums it up simply as “God speaks” (52). The Christian receives an “assignment” from God that is special and unique to each individual, the specific will of God for his own life.
Pastor Phil Johnson debunked about inner promptings and whispers, (transcript here from Super Session at the 2002 Shepherds’ Conference, audio here)
Now this kind of thinking is totally at odds with the principle of Sola Scriptura. We believe as Protestants don’t we, that the written Word of God – the Bible – contains everything necessary for our salvation and our growth in grace. 2 Timothy 3:16-17, All Scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness…listen to the next phrase…that the man of God may be PERFECT, thoroughly furnished unto all good works. Scripture alone is able to equip us thoroughly, perfectly for all good works. Everything we need in the process of our sanctification. There is no need for extrabiblical revelation. The Bible will equip you for all good works. It will give you all the explicit guidance you can possibly get from God. It contains principles to help you be wise and discerning as you pursue the course of your life, and beyond that we simply trust God in His providence to order our steps. You don’t need an explicit message from God telling you whom to marry, or where to go to school, or where to go to the mission field. [italics mine]
So how should we approach making decisions? As Johnson said, either there is explicit guidance in the Bible or there is wisdom to guide us as we read the Bible.
Any first step to decision making would assume first that one is saved. Apart from Christ, we can do nothing. (John 15:5). Secondly it assumes that the thing you’re undecided about does not involve sin. We never decide toward sin, we flee from sin. ( 2 Timothy 2:22; Genesis 39:12). Thirdly, it assumes that you’re relying completely on God’s word. If the item you’re trying to decide about is directly in the Bible, follow that command. “Should I submit to my husband?” isn’t really a decision to ponder, because it is already commanded.
Fourthly, the decision-making process assumes that you’ve yielded yourself to the Spirit of Christ within you. You’ve been striving for holiness, and you’re as much as a clean plate as you can be, being a sinner, lol.
Now, how to decide those things which are not directly addressed in God’s word?
Garry Friesen wrote a good book on Christian decision-making, linked above. He wrote that:
God’s guidance according to the way of wisdom can be summarized in four simple statements:
1.Where God commands, we must obey.
2.Where there is no command, God gives us the freedom (and responsibility) to choose.
3.Where there is no command, God gives us wisdom to choose.
4.When we have chosen what is moral and wise, we must trust the sovereign God to work all the details together for good.
–end Garry Friesen quote
Did you know that You Are Part of a Grand Plan? It’s not like you can mess it up. If you make this decision or that decision, it isn’t going to surprise God, or alter what He has planned for you. Providence, as mentioned above by Phil Johnson, is secure. His plan will be fulfilled, and your decision making isn’t going to change it. You aren’t going to miss out on anything. Beyond what is specifically prescribed in the Bible, and “we simply trust God in His providence to order our steps” as Phil Johnson explained.
In my own life, I moved from Maine to Georgia. I wanted a place with lower cost of living, and warmer weather. That’s it. He would have worked it out of I’d chosen Texas or North Carolina. Deciding on Georgia wasn’t a life-or death decision, just one that wasn’t sinful, fit my lifestyle, and made sense.
When I got to Georgia I applied for a number of jobs. I applied using common sense. What did I have experience in, was trained for, and was good at? It’s not like I consulted the Lord and waited for a sign or anything. I was following the biblical principle that he who does not work does not eat. I sought jobs I thought I had the best chance of getting and sustaining myself.
Some jobs I applied for were at the University in the journalism department, some with local magazines. The one I got (in His providential care) was for the Athens Banner Herald writing feature stories of people in my county as a freelancer. Later when I decided to go back to education – subbing at first and applying for parapro jobs, I didn’t consult the Lord. I just used common sense. The freelance job simply wasn’t paying enough. A job with the County Education system would:
-be fairly secure as jobs go (education is the largest employer in the county)
-had health benefits (I was soon to be 50)
-was what I was trained for. (formerly certified teacher with Masters degree)
-I’d be working with kids (something I love).
If I’d decided to get a job as a bungee jumper trainer, lol, that would not be common sense. Watching for omens and signs, or waiting to hear directly from God would not make sense, either.
I knew the Lord would work it out. In His providence He did not ordain that I was given the first job I’d interviewed for as a parapro at another school, but a year later I got a job at the school I’m at now, a great fit. I’ve been there 17 years, 15 as a parapro. It’s not like there is only ONE decision or only ONE path.
I’ll conclude with Phil Johnson–
If your life is in harmony with all the commands and principles of the Bible, you can actually do what you want to do without beating yourself up with introspection and fretting over whether God told you to do something or not. When Scripture says He orders our steps it’s talking about His guidance through His hand of providence. We step out in faith, and He guides our steps.
