Cheater-Speak: “But I protected YOUR reputation!”
The manipulation is the Cheater expects the “same” in return. (I use scare quotes as I doubt the Cheater actually did this.)
They assume here the faithful spouse will lie for the cheater in order to make them look good to their mutual friends.
I say lie because telling these friends a different reason than the infidelity being behind the divorce (or severe marriage struggles) is a lie.
It is like a cancer patient trying to pass off her issues as a simple cold to inquiring friends. She might have a cold, but that isn’t the real reason for her health issues. It is the cancer.
Adultery is the cancer.
Cheaters make these statements to guilt faithful spouses from exposing the ugly truth about the cheaters’ behavior. They want faithful spouse to talk about the “cold” and NOT the “cancer.”
Withholding this information does not change the underlying problem–namely, they have a character issue. The problem is the lack of character, NOT other people knowing this!
We do not control what people think about us. However, we DO control how we behave. It is in our power to live with integrity or live in violation of integrity.
A cheater lived (or lives) without integrity.
They “earned” a ruined reputation. Cheaters are NOT entitled to having faithful spouses lie for them!
If you are committed to the light, you do not worry about others knowing the truth about you. Anything less is living in the darkness and is outside a commitment with walking with the Lord (see John 3:20-21).
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