Are You Afraid To Make The Wrong Decision? - Lisa E Betz
Are you afraid to make the wrong decision? Do you get stuck in indecision, whether you’re choosing between two brands of chicken broth at the grocery store, selecting an entrée from the dinner menu, or choosing a new car? Would you love to become a more confident decision-maker? Then read on…
What does perfectionism have to do with making decisions?
Everything.
Because with every choice comes the opportunity to fail. To make the wrong decision. To do something the wrong way. To achieve less than perfection.
Nobody likes making mistakes, but perfectionists avoid it at all costs. Because of this, it can be paralyzing to decide between the bewildering number of choices we are faced with each day.
Three reasons we may be afraid to make the wrong decision
Perfectionistic thinking leads us into several fallacies that keep us stuck in indecision. Here are three common ones:
- We fall into the mindset trap that there is ONLY ONE right decision. And this belief puts a lot of stress on us, because we’ll fail if we don’t choose the one correct option among all possible choices. Who needs that kind of pressure? Fortunately, in almost all cases, there are several equally good choices. See “Narrow it down” below for tips on how to pick a good option.
- We fall into the mindset trap that we must always choose the very best option. Perfectionists can waste a lot of time and effort trying to make sure they make the very best choice and then feeling miserable if they later discover they could have chosen a “better” one. Those of us with this tendency are called “maximizers.” According to psychologists, maximizers are more likely to be dissatisfied with life, pessimistic, and anxious. See “Choose satisfaction over maximizing” below for tips on overcoming this tendency.
- We worry about what others think instead of focusing on what we know or need. When we put other people’s opinions or values ahead of our own, we are destined to make choices that ultimately disappoint us.
Strategies to help you make decisions with confidence
- Narrow it down. When confronted with a bunch of options, first eliminate the ones that are clearly not ideal. Then narrow the remaining options to the few you think might be best. Now tell yourself that ANY of these options will be a good choice. Choose one and carry on without second-guessing yourself to death.
- Choose satisfaction over maximizing. Decide to adopt a mindset of contentment instead of striving for ideals. When making a decision, choose to be satisfied with an option that is good enough instead of forever worrying that there might be a better one out there somewhere that you “should” have picked.
- Visualize both options. If you are stuck choosing between two options, try out both options virtually. First imagine what would happen if you chose option one. Play the results out in your head. Then do the same for option two. If one option felt better, go with that one. If both options are likely to result in a good scenario, go with your gut and move on (because you have confidence your decision will end well).
- Talk through your thoughts. Some of us are verbal processers. We have an easier time coming to a decision if we talk through things out loud or write our thoughts out. If this is you, honor with the way your brain is wired and process your decisions this way.
- Consider the worst-case scenario. Afraid of what will happen if you make the wrong decision? Confront your fears by thinking through the worst-case scenario for the decision you are facing, so you can see that it won’t be as dire and life-destroying as you think. Most of our daily decisions won’t result in anything too drastic even when we make an unwise choice. Playing out the worst case helps us recognize this fact.
You have agency. Use it!
You and I have agency—the ability to make choices, to have influence over your life, and to have the power and resources needed to reach your potential. (Note I didn’t say reach perfection. Perfection is unattainable. Potential is attainable.)
God created us with the ability to choose. It’s a skill we can learn and improve on with practice. Where do you need a mindset shift to become a better, more confident decision-maker?
Choose the strategy that makes sense to you and practice being more decisive this week.
Material for this post was adapted from the book Be Happy without Being Perfect: How to Break Free from the Perfection Deception by Alice D. Domar, Ph.D. with Alice Lesch Kelly
