A Letter to A New Griever — Grateful, yet Grieving

Dear One,

You never imagined you would be here. I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish we could sit across from one another. Here’s what I would say.

You’ve entered a dark cave, a place where you’ve never been. You can’t see yet. It’s scary, jarring, and feels like you are running out of air. The grief seems unbearable. You wonder if you will make it. Listen to me. You will make it. Where you are today is not where you will stay.

Little by little, there will be a dim light to help you see. The light is showing you the love you had for your person. The love is why you grieve. Yes, it hurts. The love is still there, and your person isn’t. It’s not an equation that makes sense. Love and grief are a strange duet.

You may feel alone. No one had the relationship you had. But there are others who know the pain of grief. They will walk with you. You are not alone.

You’ll have questions for God. “Why, O Lord?” “How long, O Lord?”  David asked the same questions in his laments in the Psalms. God sees you, hears you, and collects all your tears in a bottle. There is a comfort that only comes from God, holding you and being with you. Emmanuel, God with us, is a reality. Run to Him, get angry, and cry. God can handle it. Let Him in.

That’s all for now. Your brain and body can only take in so much.  Be gentle with yourself. Let people help you. Take all the time you need to grieve. You loved, and so you will grieve. I’m walking with you.

Take care,

Pam