A Heart Open to Correction
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” – Psalm 139:23-24
“It’s not a competition.” I’ve heard those words from trustworthy sources concerning my input during conversations twice this year. The repetition caught my attention, prompting me to seek the Lord. Search my heart and show me any sin pattern in my life. I’m not consciously trying to compete with others. What causes people to warn me in such a way? I followed up by asking a third person who knows me well. While they couldn’t put their finger on why I give off that vibe, they agreed that I can come across as if my answers are the best answer. I’d like to say that I could immediately see the source of sin and humbly repent and turn, but instead, I’ve thrown a sizable pity party.
As long as I can remember, when corrected in any way concerning my strong desire to be helpful, I’ve spiraled into emotional turmoil. I’m always this way. No matter what I do, I will never succeed. I can’t say anything right. Do the emotions of doubt, fear, jealousy, and loneliness feel familiar?
For some of us, the trigger was feeling invisible as children and fighting for attention. For others, it is the constant rub of perfectionism. We are driven to measure performance. God is not unfamiliar with the pattern of all or nothing in our striving to measure up. Read any of the Gospel accounts, and you will see that the disciples competed, said foolish things, and often didn’t get what Jesus was trying to teach them. Yet, He chose them. We are useful to His purposes; there’s no need for anxious thoughts.
He can fully reveal the underlying heart issues in our lives, providing discipline just as He did in David’s life and humbling us. Humility is acknowledging that He is God and we are not. His ways are higher than ours. In humility, God establishes a new pattern.
While the spiral was my initial response, I chose not to stay there. Since I’ve met Him, God has proven trustworthy with my weaknesses. Repentance allows me to accept correction with discernment and, dare I say, joy. This joy doesn’t arise from the need for behavioral change, but from the fact that He transforms my heart of stone into a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26-27). A heart that beats for God is one that welcomes correction.
Where God corrects, He also equips us. My friends’ corrections highlighted my deep-seated need for recognition and acknowledgment of my contributions. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I am eager to practice humility. I strive to think more highly of others and actively support the work of the Lord.
Questions for Reflection:
- Identify emotions that trip you up in relationships and cause you to pull away from God.
- Correction often overlaps work, home, friendships, and work. In what areas do you experience correction? How is God equipping you to do his will while growing in patterns of weakness?
- Meditate on Romans 7:15-25. Record some of the challenges Paul experienced in following Christ. How did he find hope in the struggle?
